biographical installation and living sculpture. (#1)

Project proposal: (Not that I'm required to write this, but I like the formality of it. This is going to be shown in a gallery at CalArts on October 30th. Par usual, excuse me for the self-indulgence suggested in the detail of this writing, in the discussion of my work in general and for my way of being in general, although I'm not at all apologising for it: simply excuse me.)

(If you are a recurrent reader or know me at all,) do you remember my friend Tod? He's been in several stories, photos and videos that I've made. He is in the process of a gender change, is on meth and cocaine, prostituted himself for the past five months over the internet and is now living as a houseboy for some 55 year-old sugar daddy in the Bay Area. I want to put him on display, make him the exhibit, have him live in a gallery for a week. It's a next logical step in a lot of different ideas and inspirations I've recently had. When I went through my list of art ideas with my mentor, she suggested I put them all into one big variety show of ironies. And then the Pamela Z show got me refocused on the Museum of Jurassic Technology: critiquing gallery spaces and creating an ambiguity of intentions. And I'm becoming more aware of how I like to make my work be about the characters in my life: my father, my cousin Amarantha, Tod, etc.

When I tell people all about Tod, all his crazy doings, etc., they react like, "Wow, a transgendering person. I gotta see this guy." Now everyone can. Why is it that people can so easily turn a person into a weird anomaly freak show. And I know, right off the bat, some people might not even find his intersexedness or uninhibitedness that interesting. They've done it themselves maybe, so why aren't they also being exhibited? But I think that's still a question worth realising. A friend of ours got really annoyed once when he thought some people we know had turned Tod into a spectacle. And I thought, "why is that good or bad?" Maybe that's the only real reason we ever pay attention to anything. And how do you showcase an interesting person? I came to the conclusion of having my father taxidermied, because intensive photographing, filming, interviewing and writing weren't enough. I haven't made much stand-alone music since I've been at CalArts, the reason being that I can't stimulate one sense without wanting to impact another.

So that's how I'm going to "market" it. I'm going to develop interest through the process of exploitation itself. I want the ads for the exhibit to read like a circus side-show. I'm calling the piece a "biographical installation with living sculpture," but the poster will read more like "Tweakin' Transgenderin' Trick-turnin' Tod! Ladies and gents, come one and come all..." Without completely misleading the receivers of the advertisement, I want to instill in the audience a feeling of exploitation from the getgo, with hopes that I turn their preconceptions against them at the actual showing. They will come prepared for a freak show, and then they will see something actually human. For this reason, I see the advertising and the piece itself as almost two separate pieces.

There will be exploitation though. Having him live in the gallery and "be the art" is exploitation and objectification in a way. I think of Tod and myself both as performers; he will perform the role of "art," just as I'll perform the role of "artist." The audience will approach the gallery space with several texts set in front of them, in my voice, introducing them to different times in Tod's life. The accounts will span from his uncomfortable childhood to times of identity contemplation and to his recent inhibition during our time living together. Each day of the week of the showing will be a different stage in his life, and when the audience enters the space, they themselves will become Tod at that stage in his life. Tod, then, as a performer, will take on the role of an impacter (oppressor?) from a specific occurrence of that time. In one example: during Tod's childhood, his mother would have him sleep naked with her, and she would be naked, too. The audience will enter the room, see Tod in a bed naked, and they'll have the option to lie down with him. An aural text will be played in the space, relaying Tod's accounts of the experiences, adding another dimension to the audience's perception. I have five different performances like this (and you'll have to come to the exhibit if you want to know the others). The line between what they imagine and what they experience will begin to blur.

Otherwise, in terms of sculptural and installational elements, I'm keeping my bones bare. The props are going to be as simple as a bed, chairs, beams of light cast in such a way that the audience feels like they're on a stage. But the stage elements won't override the reality of Tod living in a gallery. For that there will be the obvious residue of his living space (bed, trash, etc), and of course Tod. The less visual the piece is, the more the aural will take hold of the audience in their imaginations. I also don't want to draw attention away from the general format of the piece.

The result of the project should have an element of hopelessness and endlessness. There's no way to escape objectification; the audience isn't going to leave with an understanding of Tod's motives or psychological innerworkings; as an artist, I'm not going to feel that I've fully demonstrated those subtle yet defining details that make Tod "art" in my eyes. It will leave gaping questions, like when Tod's own views on art are revealed, and also the fact that the basis of our whole friendship is being explained through this act. And is his lifestyle really that horrible? Do you have to be "messed up" to result this way? Am I, as an artist, condoning his behavior through this gesture? Am I an antagonist for exposing (my take on) his reality?